Daydreams and Toy Soldiers

Two historical tales of the last century seem to have escaped my knowledge, and therefore given me an incomplete understanding of the world. I have to admit, I nerd out on history sometimes, because I think it is consistently relevant to our human condition. These two historical tales come complete with valid sources, historical relevance, and practical application to current events.

I recently heard someone speaking of a political party/movement in Cambodia called the Khmer Rouge. Granted, my understanding of the history of Cambodia is pretty shallow; as a matter of fact, it was non-existent until a few days ago, but I will try to give you an idea. Evidently, the Khmer Rouge (otherwise known as the Communist Party of Kampuchea-CPK) took control of Cambodia in 1975, remaining a secret until 1977. Only the leaders of the Khmer Rouge knew who the leaders of it's regime were. After nearly 90 years under French protectorate (1863-1953), Cambodia was left alone to rule itself as an independent nation. Unfortunately, left without an educated population, a shaky judicial system, and a formerly puppet-like political system, the country was left vulnerable. During a civil war, a political coup, and the unfamiliarity of independence, the Khmer Rouge was able to solidify a quiet place in the ruling class. From 1975-1979, it is estimated that upwards of 2 million Cambodians were killed by the violence and cruelty of the Khmer Rouge. The capital city of Phnom Penn was evacuated, forcing a population of 2.5 million people out into the jungles and rural areas to undertake grueling agricultural expectations, while the intellectual, religious, and affluent were disposed of. Behind the mantra "what is rotten must be removed," all religious, economic, and political systems were destroyed, by simply destroying those who had ties to any of them. In 1979, Vietnamese troops invaded Cambodia, sending the Khmer Rouge back to the jungles, where their leader Pol Pot continued to lead an insurgent movement until 1997.

Moving on to the second of these historical tales, I think we'll all find this one a bit more palatable, if not comical. In 1944, leading up to the D-Day invasion, Allied forces dropped dummy parachuters throughout the countryside. Complete with uniforms and firecrackers to give them an added dimension of reality, these paradummies worked as a distraction against German forces. While the German troops were shooting at dummies, the German command was trying to figure out whether there was an invasion, and where it would in fact take place. Seems a burlap sack full of sand, or a rubber doll is a many splendored thing.

Interesting as history may be in and of itself, the underlying story is what truly fascinates me. True, there is nothing new under the sun. Political parties have been working in secret since the beginning of political parties. Paradummies are as astonishing and creative as a Trojan Horse; deception and confusion are as much elements of warfare as weapons and violence. What I'm trying to say is, what works, works for a reason, and what doesn't work, doesn't work for a reason.

We've all got problems, we've all got situations in our lives that discourage, or keep us from "be{ing} all that {we} can be", or unleashing "the best you now." It seems like every time one obstacle is overcome, there is another one waiting on the wings. When one oppressive thought passes, then next regime is ready and waiting, hiding, looking for the opportune time to seize hold of our minds. I recall my boyhood; I had dreams of heroism and glory. I used to fantasize about rescuing damsels in distress, helping the weak, and defending justice and righteousness. As a kid, I understood that slaying the dragon was not about simply slaying the dragon for its own sake. Overcoming an enemy was not about power or dominance, it was about greater good, and justice. Self-sacrifice was about making an impact, not about gaining advancement through self-deprication. Somehow, as adults, the dragon becomes the obstacle, and the prize is simply its overcoming. Our fellow man becomes our enemy simply because they will not accept our centrality in the universe. We fight to conquer, not to overcome. We exploit the weak for power, and destroy to demonstrate that power. Our minds have been secretly taken over by a mental, emotional, and spiritual regime that is allowing us to simply destroy ourselves. Words of substance, like justice, righteous, truth, and love have been replaced with shallow terms like fairness, acceptance, diversity, and tolerance. Standing for something used to be evidence of character, now it is called narrow-minded. We tolerate everything but intolerance, and the intolerant will not be tolerated. It's funny, when navigating, it's nice to have an objective point of reference. Knowing which direction is North is an essential piece of information in trying to find a destination. Can navigating life, society, and our existence be so much different? Do we not need an objective point of reference to navigate social, political and financial systems?

What if we're already enslaved to a lie that is destroying our lives, our families, our nations, and our world, and we don't even know it yet? What if we're busy fighting what we think are the problems of our society, but all we're doing is shooting rubber dummies?

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things that are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I feel the weight of time on me with each passing day. As I approach the close of another decade of my life, I'm seeing things I didn't used to see. Each time I look in the mirror, I see the lines of age creeping across my face. I see the changes all around. I see the world around me moving at an ever increasing pace toward chaos. I see lies praised, and the truth locked away like a criminal. I see reason ignored, while propaganda and the glittery packaging of irrational ideas are sold at the cost of the human soul. I see comforts sold at the price of safety, and safety sold at the price of freedom. I see a world where having is more important than doing, and doing only matters for getting, as the cost of the how racks up against us. I see the temporary passing away. As the temporary moves, my spirit stirs, as I feel the eternal that I cannot see. I feel the eternal in Peace. I feel the Eternal in Love. I feel the eternal in Joy. I feel the kingdom of God in Kindness.

"The Christian religion is not a legal system which, being imposed by violence, may transform men's lives. Christianity is a new and higher conception of life. A new conception of life cannot be imposed on men; it can only be freely assimilated. And it can only be freely assimilated in two ways: one spiritual and internal, the other experimental and external." -Leo Tolstoy

"Then they brought the little children to Him, that he might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them, for of such is the Kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." And He took them up in his arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them." -Mark 10:13-16

Is it really any wonder why we must become like little children to enter the kingdom of God? What innocence there is in having the courage to slay the dragon with humility enough to do it for the benefit of another. To be a child again, where power and greed were the tyranny we fought against in our daydreams; before they became the unknown captain of our minds, and lords of our souls.

Devoured

"For all the Law is fulfilled in one word, even in this "You shall love you neighbor as yourself." But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another."
Galatians 5:14-15

For anyone who has witnessed the multifaceted spiritual, emotional, and mental transformations I've experienced over the last few years, this is my confession, and my apology. Years ago, I had a desire to serve, to heal, and to help others. My life was warped around my own ego, and a desire for an acceptable image that could not be rejected or disliked. Being a "likable guy" was my main concern, and it was rooted in my own pride, with no other motive. I must admit, I excelled at it; I amassed a laundry list of "friends" all over school, home, and my workplaces. This is where most, if not all of you have found place in my life, whether for a short season, or the long haul.

The growing concern for me over the last year has been a reputation I have garnered at work, among certain friends, and perhaps even in my family. I am fully aware of the fact that I have become known for a sharp whit, sarcasm, and cutting words. In my times, I have justified this ill treatment of friends, family, and anyone so unfortunately within reach because of my own pain and spiritual struggle. As a practicing cynic, I found myself rationalizing everything by the climate of my surroundings; egged on by a pride so strong it caused me to be unwilling to admit, nor recognize my own degeneration. With this improper perception of myself, and more importantly an improper perception of God, there was no way I could have seen the damage being caused to those around me, but also to myself.

Ironically enough, damaging oneself through the slow and methodical disintegration of his own life has a way of breaking foolish pride. Some might call it an experience of self-revelation, others would call it rock bottom; whatever you call it, it's humbling. Humility, much like pride, has a canibalistic quality of feeding on its own kind. Pride feeds itself through pride, while humility feeds itself through humility. As I'm walking this path of humility, I know there are certain boundaries which will be a challenge to break through, most specifically a reputation in which I found great pride. This reputation is the very thing this confession is intended to destroy.

The widely encompassing command to love your neighbor as yourself has a few simple predications. First, to love. I won't get into the delicate intricacies of this one, just suffice it to say, we know love when we see it, and we know what a lack of love looks like as well. Second, Jesus made it pretty clear with the parable of the good samaritan that a neighbor is not just a brother, a friend, or an acquaintance, but all of our fellow man, regardless of color, creed, nationality, or worldview. Finally, the degree of which we ought to love our neighbor is in direct proportion to the amount in which we love our self. As my father would say "there's the rub." Aside from an active disdain for some, I've certainly been most guilty of loving myself and considering myself far more than that of my neighbor. Even when my actions of goodwill and sacrifice are for nothing more than to gain favor of my neighbor, they are selfish acts of benevolence. How's that for an oxymoron? Selfish benevolence.

So, as the world has turned cold to each other, I am humbly admitting that I am guilty of hating my neighbor. I have loved myself in far greater proportion than I have loved my neighbor. In the same breath, I have praised God, and cursed my brother. In witty candor, I have badmouthed leaders, With no remorse, I have participated in the very system of deceit, manipulation, and self-service I condemned; until now. Even now as I write this, I feel a conditioned compulsion to rationalize the severity of my condition. "I'm not as bad as..." "At least I didn't..." "Well, I could have..." I will not justify. I am guilty. I have been a part of the problem.

So for those whom I have bitten, I am sorry. For those whom I've hurt, I apologize. To the God whose love I have falsely represented, I am exposed. See, what I've come to realize, is that loving your neighbor as yourself is not only a practical command to live with each other peaceably, but an essential part of our own liberation from the sin that separates us from God. In times of life in which I have walked closely with God, the spiritual gifts which he has given me have flourished. In recent years, any formerly known spiritual gifts have been diminished by the unrepentant presence of sin, and a great divide has arisen. Thankfully, because of the Love of God, and the demonstration of it through Christ, I have come to see my right place. With bended knee, and humble countenance, I submit myself to the guidance of the spirit of God, the Lordship of Christ, and the plan of God.

Intellectually, philosophically, and politically, we can't change the world. Intellect and philosophy are limited by idealist banter, which encompasses only the written or spoken word. Politically, you can tax whom you care to tax, and give to whom you choose to give, but there is nothing of love to be spoken of by the taxed for the one to whom his tax is used to support. Love is a verb; an idea with a form of action behind it. The world cannot replicate the life changing power of Christ, nor the power and authority of God by man made means. No system of thought, political agenda, or persuasive speeches from dynamic personalities will cause a man to love his neighbor as himself. It is only in the scandalous message of a savior on a cross to take upon himself the sin which separates man from his loving creator that can transform the heart of a man. Hatred and war will not win the day, only love will do that.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8